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Of Interviews, Homesickness and Bombay Duck!, Part 1

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Expert Author Arindam Moulick
How to lose an interview in Bombay? Get feverishly homesick!

After I graduated out of a national institute of records generation returned in the overdue Nineties, I turned into headed to the city of vada-pavsBombay to attend an interview at the Asian Paints' software facility at Bhandup for the hallowed position of software engineer-in-exile. That's it; I fell into spasms of mental strain. I just desired to shrink into the floor and disappear. Alarm bells saved ringing in my head like a jagran being performed in a nearby temple! I became deeply mortified and I felt I become not the person cut out for this kind of form of activity even though I knew that I had slogged hard for it and waited only for this kind of day to usher in my lifestyles; partly because I turned into afraid to do nicely inside the interview and get decided on, and in part because I'll ought to relocate to that metropolis if I got the ones men' hooks on me.

I couldn't say no to the hardworking HR human beings of my alma mater, who now not handiest worked up the vital lather of task negotiations but had worked hard behind the curtain to position us delicate meandering souls at the much-harried map of employment. So I needed to pay heed to them irrespective of what I felt about all of it. Anxiety crept in to prick my frame like one thousand needles at the same time as the idea of the upcoming interview in my head kept riding me off an imaginary cliff. As a result of this issue going again and again once more in my head, I have become stiff, inflexible and very jumpy.

The placement officer, a candy HR female of immaculate manners referred to as Janice- whom I had nicknamed Miss Good Manners and wrote a cheery poem on her referred to as Janice the Menace! - observed me tough to consider. Without propounding any of her typical inventory of HR fundas to help shoo away our nervous jitters, she winked at us one by one, gave us the as soon as-over and danced out of the hall raising a thumbs-up. Guess she was not unduly involved approximately us new-age keyboard-pounding upstarts; she possibly deduced that we'd subsequently get engrossed like a Popeye seeking to remedy a struggle scenario: and that is with the aid of munching on a group of "green leafy spinach" and then a spherical of dishum dishum. Mr. Popeye's success mantra would make us move for it than any of Janice's HR peccadilloes probably would.

Entreating us to abide through 3 formulation (as a substitute formulaic potions!) she formerly had deduced for us:

Formula A: sincerely "p.C. Your luggage and trap a educate at a nearest railway station!"

Formula B: be proper like Mr. Popeye and make a point to munch on spinach and win

over the "lady", a damsel-in-distress (the interview) and,

Formula C: Never look lower back from then on when you've got the "woman" in your hands

... She smiled her pert smile and slinked away. But little did she know that an all-12 months lengthy, head-in-the-clouds, always-listening-to-track kinda man might most truely founder and but be sassy sufficient to high-five his pals and come home empty surpassed, without a "woman" (examine task), and quip: "you cross discern".

Interview: A Dreadfully Scary Thing

I trotted out... Like an advanced decrepit, said my prayers, bid good-bye to my jaanu, - and escorted by using five different buddies - to look for a activity position that changed into by no means to be mine inside the first location. Till the day of my journey I hardly ever saw myself within the replicate nor examine a book, nor ought to even hope to consume my usual morsels of meals in holy abandon at home. After all that I actually have toiled hard to analyze and unlearn, an inexplicable temper-swing seemed to lurk in my head and it appeared that can be - simply may be - I might cross bumping down the proverbial hill like Jack and Jill.

This rampant, apparently infinite rage of virtual tight-spots of getting to carve out an IT career in laptop software program, of something to make oneself ever equipped to jostle and struggle and push every different which will attain, extraordinarily hyper-tensed, the employability indices of the innumerable activity portals, consisting of HR and manpower companies of the world, regarded like a mad-canine chase I'd be unable to preserve up with; and somehow be equipped enough, dense and stable, for your subsequent interview coming up quickly to get your neck in. I figured that I could be in for a forbidding existence-lengthy entrapment.

There changed into, fortunately, a saving grace within the form of an excellent pal Praveen who also regarded to be as apprehensive about the massive "Bombay interview" as I became - so that explains a chum in want is a pal indeed. We scourged each different out and so that you can be able to climate this dreadfully frightening component and we yanked our path fabric out from our man or woman supplies of books and food and began discussing Sybase, C and C++ and different such software boogies at the rampaging Bombay Express. Although, the procedure of subjecting ourselves to "getting ready" for interviews become hardly ever any a laugh, and each time the placement officers happened to talk approximately it in such difficult-to-pay attention-on "technical" gobbledygook whilst they started out shelling out some quick-restore notes for us to take-it-or-depart-it, the scene of all of it - as we innocently conjectured then - started sounding as although of its loss of life knell upon us younger lads. Like a fury unleashed. To make certain, my mind turned into tired out of its sane sap, or something little was left of it.

Not simplest became I pretty shaken with the aid of the mere intonation of the word Interview - which become to be conducted in a place like Bombay where I notion handiest Hindi movie actors and actresses may want to reign ideally suited and laptop geeks like us could only manage to fetch an incongruous kind of living - I observed myself to be somehow secretly and variously affected by the promise of our Hotel's activate room provider, mainly the free complimentary breakfast!

I saved dreaming of highly spiced Chicken Biryani platters the night before my adventure (like a regular Hydeeraabaadi I say) after which continually salivating, again and again again, on some thing-beyond-Biryani specialties that could be ordered of the room provider guys and have them added to us pronto. Raising the volume of Rishi Kapoor and Poonam Dhillon's love track "yeh vaada raha... "gambling on my Walkman, I merrily went back to sleep. So you tell me what use could my software engineering going to be (and I hate those individuals who made me do it) in the sort of glamorous region of exile (exile? Nicely nearly) known as Bombay, alias Copycat Bollywood, wherein you always see what your eyes need to look, i.E., "commercial escapist" dhanteran Hindi flicks?

Some Philosophical Musings

I become also a tad greater petrified than my unsuspecting pals due to the fact looking ahead to myself to come back up trumps in any such worrying state of affairs became obscenely difficult for me to address. Attending an interview is one however securing a activity in an alien city like Bombay is sincerely now not some other day in paradise, far from it. This was manner lower back inside the fascinating late 1990s and matters were of various shapes and sounds then. I was blissfully amateurish; a blue-collared soul who knew no hoots about the concept of "taking some self belief measures" at a non-public degree. A chip-of-the-antique-block, no-offense-ever-in any way, Forrest Gump kinda of barnyard-guy like me looking out of the empty porch hoping in opposition to desire for his beautiful Jenny to return couldn't, yet, be a guy-approximately-town, a little greater propah and all that jazz. On the turn side, how could I recognise to have achieved sufficient of "taking a few self assurance measures"? I had no tip-off or natural clue. Like Mr. Gump, I too by no means knew if I had whatever else to measure it up with, and that became that.

The circle of my family and pals, as a count number of reality, mattered to me more than the fascinating prospect of a task inside the huge returned-breaking city of Bombay. The bonds of affection and longing and the acquainted binds of my existence have saved my roots firmly intact right here. I could not have left them behind or damaged free from them either. That would have been really so sacrilegious. Therefore, placing aside the acquainted sample of my existence I changed into used to turned into too tough for me to shake off and depart. Even these days, I nevertheless have no regrets that I didn't pass that interview in Bombay; in truth, had I were given thru I would have had that job given to a person else by means of not accepting it inside the first region. I remained wherein I continually turned into, and probably will continually be, till I grow old and elderly and truly decrepit, if in any respect. The maddening gold-rush of existence changed into past my stage of know-how and gumption; but I lingered on without a lot ado, looking forward to what I idea I was destined to watch for and this is: a mouthful of sky. I never smudged a issue or  with the intention to make it as much as my personal liking or taste; in truth, from what God ought to let me have of my share of lifestyles I nearly always attempted to conform to, but no longer this "Bombay Interview" for which I am ever geared up for the Almighty to take me into His merciful debts. I desired a personal patch of my personal to live in, so I got one. I did not alter whatever inside the world, nor did I find anything interesting enough to modify or amend. I mean how foolish is that? Quite I assume. Let's say if I actually have something arising for certain, then I could get up and get going to make a cross for it. I believe if I am a Destiny's toddler (yeah I want!) similar to all of us else, then why do I want to have an approval rating machine for all exigencies of worldly adjustments that truely don't work for me? By being a firm believer in Destiny is therefore what I suppose makes me safe and effective, and be amongst God's good humour if you want. Call it escapist, name it brainlessness or name it simple lunacy; but that is all there may be to it; no longer a penny extra, not a penny much less. So I snuggled in the heat quilt of my fond memories of these golden growing up years, my ardour for books, my deep obsessive love for Kolkata and different unforgettable, simple tales of my surviving existence right here in the South.

Back to Square One

Our activity placement men left no stone unturned so as to be of any assist to unheard-of geese like us; but little did they recognize that a sense of scare had continually lurked in a few a part of our minds that could not be reached through any amount of placement officers to calm our delirium.

In truth, for the duration of those unpretentious days, the persistent rush of 1 nagging concept after every other ran rebel in our juvenile minds. Not trying to sound vain here, I have to say that my head played games with the closing a part of my adult self; as though I have been being pressured right into a everlasting date with the Vampire known as "Interview" to take location. It kept my worried jellies fidgeting all of the time. It raised the stakes numerous levels higher for me in order to summit. Just once I thought I may additionally have come what may a lonely shred of self belief tucked somewhere inner in some part of me, I would still fuss over and crash out. To in the end see the rattling aspect via, I had taken the easier patli gully course out; and so that it will ensure that I never ever needed to attend any other interview ever once more. I finally began to fall lower back on a new ballgame: a sport of an get away artist. I changed into inaccurate to assume that there could be no interviews at all from heretofore. On the contrary, I become attending interviews after interviews once I got here away empty handed from Bombay; I had to do so, ever due to the fact that I stepped onto the gasoline of career-making based totally on the excellent remunerations thrown at the negotiating desk. A existence without interviews is honestly impossible, and what turned into I questioning once more?

Hence, we deduced that each issue is rather complicated for you to get it all taken care of out and finally land the Asian Paints activity. No marvel, a project like that had robbed of our sleeps at the same time as the day of the reckoning came closer and closer like an Alien on the free.

Other friends, which include Praveen, weren't so lily-livered like me though. Praveen may want to shut the world out to stay unmoved and uninvolved and now not give in to the skunk of euphoria lapping round us all the time. I reckoned that he tried to think of plan B in case of his plan A backing down. But wait a minute... Ummm... I had plans too: Plan A... Plan B! Really! But you notice my problem become that there have been in different peoples' minds!

On the alternative hand, I notion, if my plan A (if in any respect I had one) failed to affect the ones interview guys, I could most definitely throw up! My plan A, B and C had been all tagged as: "throw up whilst in doubt" or "while doubtful throw up". May be, I may have to sprint returned out; depart Bombay that identical nighttime, catch a bus or teach again to Hyderabad and live to inform the rattling story. I confess: the reason I fluked all my answers is that I turned into getting homesick, feverishly homesick. I desired to dash home soon and wash the ghost of the Interview off me, and permit myself be unlamented in the secure recesses of my home. Alas, the world changed into perennially peaceful; we had no cellular phones then, no in-your-face Facebook "like-its" or Twitter's tweets both. Life became some distance less digitized than what's observed these days.

So lower back domestic turned into I; all that I wanted changed into a mug of warm tea (preferably heat) and reflect onconsideration on my "mystery admirer". The "Bombay interview" become over and finished with. My parents at domestic laughed at me and persisted slurping on their favored candy corn soup as though not anything had occurred. I suspect they knew I'd never make it. If I have been left feeling like a shred of spinach jutting out on the rim in their soup-weighted down bowls: a fallen bit nobody bothers approximately lest sees it even once, I should not bitch! They failed to thump me right into a gory pulp, I become thankful for that; but I quietly figured that it may, of route, grow to be a better proposition for them afterward than trying me to be only a mama's boy.

I reasoned it out as excellent as I ought to: attending an interview in a town I do not particularly want to inhabit in for a process; a miles-away area which means nothing besides that it augurs nicely for the Bollywood wallas; the ek-chalees-ki local wallas, the underworld taporis and other dons, the savages and fanatical bigots consisting of all of the anti-constitutional Bal Thackarey kinds and his gutter-bred cahoots. Never thoughts Bombay's robust blend of human staying power and come-what-may form of faith searching up inside the face of unpardonable terror and other calamities that it confronts yr after 12 months. Going to Bombay was like going to an area of filmy fiefdom and amorous opulence, which could by no means be - now not in this lifetime - my cup of tea.

All right... , all right... , I admit that I do like Bombay (now not Mumbai) and its amorous opulence as I name it, a little of it's far no harm; particularly because I had been notably smitten by way of it but in an entirely distinctive type of way (no longer while one has an interview boogie to hustle you no cease). I observed the city to be overwhelming and intensely affecting. In a short span of time I stayed there, I did get to know the metropolis I continually knew from the glitzy magazines I examine back domestic right here within the South. It turned into the equal and lots extra. Oodles of it had tumbled down on me in exceptional spell binding details and deeply affected was I because of that particular experience. Apart from its traditional higher-strata of lifestyles, titillating razzmatazz of stars and their starlets and serpentine neighborhood trains, I like the genuine warmth of its Jai-Ho population, the way of lifestyles there, food alternatives, regal addresses, of course the local trains, and the lovely Parsi names of places and lovable Parsi Nannies.

Back at some point of the 1990s when I first dashed into Bombay, I've seen some of the handsomest men in impressive garments hobnobbing in prosperous espresso stores and drop-useless terrifi ladies - Bloomingdales, Poison Ivies, Sweetie Pies and Senoritas - sashaying down the curvaceous roads of Bandra's Pali Hill. All that I had seen and experienced even as I had walked up and down the Pali Hill on one nightly nighttime had despatched a great shiver down my village-bred spine, numbing my thoughts with a ordinary burst of senses and engagement. It made me experience insufficient and tacky as a person who knew not anything of the methods of the arena then. Today, I identify Bombay with whatever little acquaintance I have of it: Juhu, Naturals Ice-cream Parlour in Juhu Scheme, Juhu Beach, Amitabh Bachchan's bungalow Pratiksha in Juhu, a bus stand now not very a long way off from India Gate in which  pretty Senoritas with their gorgeous smiles playing over their sunny faces had been expecting their bus to arrive to go to an area in their stay or some other place I knew now not but they bedazzled me, dazzling metropolis of Sion, Hanging Gardens on Malabar Hill, Haji Ali in the Arabian Sea, a view on the dreamy skyscrapers of Mahalakshmi, a popular Christian church in Mahim wherein I lit 3 slender white candles for the first time in my existence on the altar of Jesus Christ at Mahim Church, Fashion Street, Victoria Terminus, local train rides via Matunga, Vile Parle, Dadar, Marine Drive and many different stations, and an terrific location known as Pali Hill in Bandra, wherein I went to peer the homes of the film stars like Dilip Kumar, Aamir Khan, Rishi Kapoor et al and binge on a few without problems breakable puffed-out pani puris.

As a long way as I am involved, the interview element has been more like an unwanted mission to be quickly squashed, faster the better, later the Alligator! I become quite glad approximately it that I become no longer going to be tensed mulling over it again and again. I did not make a fudge of my clear sense of right and wrong, for I became so thrilled by way of it. I did not even come near securing the damn job; I did not virtually care. Three pals of valour did, which include my new buddy Praveen. They may have got something out of it: the pure thrill of having to be a element - a treasured element - of a experience of a life time. I am certain they did. As for me, I took it all in my stride within the pleasant way possible. But of direction, I enjoyed the trip all the extra for a different Karmic motive as nicely: Praveen and I made pals with every other, and a completely odd and elegant kind of emotion turned into skilled in an area called Sion in Bombay from wherein all of us took an inter-kingdom bus out on a nightly journey returned to Hyderabad.

Alvidaa Sion

Sion became unusually first-rate an area. Superb through night, the area turned into a flashing abundance of shops large and small, delightful middle-elegance restaurants packed with amiable human beings, rapid-transferring romantic motors and seriously beneficial Best buses and the glittering, lengthy winding, love-weighted down roads. From the pavement in which I stood and gazed at the roads going all the way beyond, I turned into struck by means of the beauty of the life that I may want to have had there. Shining vibrant lighting fixtures of love and longing had been splashed anywhere that dazzled my senses to the center, and I right away knew that in this vibrant night time I couldn't had been everywhere else but right here inside the stunning city of Sion; trying to fetch a ticket to get home at a time while my heart become screaming interior. A feeling of the unknown and unsaid, unfamiliar and unnamed, a loving thriller of a unique someone cloaked within the misty spaces of the time and the very location, had deeply churned my heart from within. I yearned for something or someone I did not have, and the strangeness of these lonely set of emotions had poured into my vaunted soul like a sweet perfume that never wore off even to this present day. Alvidaa Sion.

A Not-So-Surprising Outcome

Praveen changed into aghast whilst we were advised by way of the interview men that "best  could make our day nowadays, and the names are... " (The different 4 can visit hell. I imply... No, they failed to say some thing like that, seemingly no longer!).

I didn't upward thrust and shine that day. I turned into now not shaking the very last listing; no longer even when I quipped loudly: "O come on folks, they are just poking us for a laugh". But no, they reputedly had been not searching out amusing. What changed into I hallucinating on, and what a pussy aspect to say! Praveen stood shell-stunned through the news and grew to become to have a look at me agape in flashing wonder, as if pouting: "What... ? How may want to you... ?" I am certain he'd have notion like as though I had betrayed his new-located faith that he came to park in me. In reality, he firmly believed that out of six folks avatars, at least I will in all likelihood make it with the aid of a terrific margin! But it become not to be. I did not make the grade in spite of his suitable thoughts approximately me. I by no means came spherical in telling him about my disinclination in this type of activity-in-exile. Praveen and there was any other person who had been on the final tally. I checked out Praveen and I thought I am gonna omit him.

Reading up a few books and listening intently to a collection of hell-bent HR officials inside the magnificence did assist thrash out the mental demons clogging my unprepared thoughts, however it's far the purpose that works wonders, a totally professional type of motive. No reason, no professional lifestyles. With that component alone one can pass "kella photey!" (conquering the citadel of challenges! - roughly translated from Bengali). Praveen did now not, as they are saying, omit the bus. He conquered the fort. I changed into glad for him that he might work in... Properly... Bhandup!

Nevertheless, I become not so positive if my oldsters returned domestic might pat my lower back for the doomed display of my making. Being blissfully unaware of the concept of mission inside the face of whatever possibility that comes your manner, I occur to address it the manner anyone could in case of such a state of affairs; nah... , now not truely a death want or some thing, but some thing of a different factor of view. May be, some thing like an unconventional viewpoint (highly deplorable for a few however practical for me) of mine that portends well with my scheme of things and now not anybody else's, and that which continues my internal being alive and kicking through doing what I suppose is suitable for my own excellent, in no way thoughts any custodian prognostications hurtling my way. Suggestions, recommendation, counsels, reviews, et al are all welcome, if and simplest if, they higher now not be openly pressurizing and stifling for me to deal with. I was happy like a pup even though whilst the officials stated that they honestly choose a person who could easily function from their paints-manufacturing plant at Gujarat, I didn't wag my tail at any such mean bunkum of theirs. Thank you: I would prefer my outdoor Hyderabad than smell paints for the rest of my existence. Iron bars do now not a prison make for tough-won souls like us who are all too familiar with such smooth pickings!

So I Grew Up!

Like different souls from the activity seeking fraternity, I reckoned I too am eligible for excelling in any interview challenge and likely lack not anything to rip all of it apart. So what the heck? Now who is disturbing approximately the ones interview guys who sit in the back of a desk and appearance patronizingly at you as in case you are being ludicrous and all that stuff. Am I not suppose to upward push and shine inside the international of my masterly information and revel in? (OK, maybe not that masterly as of now so strike that off). Is it certainly purported to be their way or the dual carriageway? If not, then what? Either that an awful lot little bit of a clearly gift my furious will-energy will lend a helping hand to me, or the goddamn situation-count I had obtained from my alma mater would plunge the syringe of clever-alecky kind of thrill in my thoughts in an effort to assist me blast away at the miserly blokes parked at the alternative cease of the interview desk. Either way I am saved.

On pinnacle of that, can be, I ought to screen my tiger-claws out at the interviewer's table on every occasion their "complex questions" get tough to be afflicted about. So what's the hiccup, convey them on. I hallucinated further into the night time thinking about my imaginary tiger-claws; and yet to face a guy or  at the software-cum-paints-manufacturing business enterprise might now be an smooth hunt. My different concept become to "throw up whilst in doubt" however it is for different testier instances which might every so often get to upbraid me, therefore such determined measures. Looking on the stars blinking along the soaring moon above from my moving educate, I realized that after I got not anything, I were given nothing to lose. So bash on regardless. Those interviewers of the arena can dig someplace else if they prefer, and I would break a leg for once more, at any other place, in my very own candy time. I failed to disappoint on that the front ever after.

OK, I may additionally have lacked something - if in any respect - in my strive at seeking to be 'being me' and finding a right "cause" for the duration of the path of that good old Asian Paints interview, but those had been the happy-cross-lucky days of innocence, pure-at-coronary heart joys and higher-good fortune-subsequent-time days which may additionally have together performed a element in justifying my some distance too little emotional preparedness. As a matter of reality, I had to take a few time without work for my thoughts to get face-to-face with the paranoia of attending interviews. That's how I may want to justify myself then. To stay calm and exhale all issues out and no longer unwittingly invite a person to consider me as a nervous break became additionally a terrific success mantra to appearing better. (No, "tiger-claws at the table" scenario never occurred nor did I throw up at the interview desk and it changed into a shaggy dog story in reality!) Nevertheless, a misappropriation of my own set of abilties might bring with it a strong reversal of professional Tsunami; that I think, to mention the least, I should sick afford. Those days have ceased to exist and all but disappeared now, and I am left with a feeling that I wish I turned into born within the Nineteen Fifties or Nineteen Sixties global. I may want to probable have led my lifestyles a long way better than what I am leading now.

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Technology news4u: Of Interviews, Homesickness and Bombay Duck!, Part 1
Of Interviews, Homesickness and Bombay Duck!, Part 1
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